上面大门牙左面的一颗掉了。没有根，就一颗牙，好像是因为我从前使劲往里推这颗牙的缘故。上班的时候发生的，老板说给我花钱把牙补上，她和几个女生在办公室里，关着门。好久之后，我进去，发现他们定了好多好吃的在里面吃没告诉我和另一个同事。其中有一个女同学是我的朋友玲玲，她刚拿完博士学位。我做在远处跟他们对话，意识到老板想让我离开。我说：那谁完成工作？然后意识到玲玲没有工作正好可以完成，而且对老板又好处，工资低。临走的时候，老板说：你可以到任何一个牙医那里看牙，就是说她不管了。然后走下楼，没有再道别，他们都走了。

我心想，我是想变化的，没想到真的没工作了。问自己：真的回国还能重新开始吗？似乎有一点惶恐但似乎又感觉都在命里。似乎也正常，庆幸自己及时将课选了，上完最后一门应该没有关系。

I should give my thanks to Geoffery Cai, the event organizer.  Without his push, I probably wouldn’t have participated.  Any of my art work, once it’s done and a week passes, I see problems.

If you are reading my blog here from China, don’t forget to have a look and offer your comments.  Thank you.

http://www.tudou.com/programs/view/VjI_vCjUcTI/

http://www.tudou.com/programs/view/nLaHj5Qg8O8/

Also after a few months, finally I went swimming today.  It feels good always – will try to go to sleep by 11 pm and go swimming 2-3 times in the morning.

The libretto is by Hugo von Hofmannsthal so we can see his trade mark (everlasting suspicion of words and language) but as a literary genius his text is poetic and poison-ly beautiful!  The music is by Richard Strauss and it was first performed in 1911 where Max Reinhardt was the director (who was also the director of Hofmannsthal’s Elektra in 1905).

Kiri Te Kanawa played Marschallin. The stage and costume design are exquisite and luscious which made her voice sounds more luscious and rich.  Da geht er hin is from the version I have watched – does her voice have a smell like dark chocolate?  Or does it like deep purple lilac hiding in the night but sends its fragrance suddenly reminding you a lost time?  In this story the young boy is actually played by a woman (Anne Howells).  It is kind of cool and cute, and it reminds me the Chinese Yue opera, in which all are actress, such as this famous version of Red Chamber Dream.

During the Christmas break, I had watched The Rake’s Progress three times.  Stravinsky discovered William Hogarth’s copper engravings The Rake’s Progress when he visited Chicago Art Institute – you can see eight plates in this link.  The opera was based on the series of engravings.  The 1970s Pop artist David Hockney was the stage designer for the version I saw.  The whole stage and costumes were designed largely using lines (corresponding to the effect of engravings) – the interplay of music, visual art and performance is enchanting!

However, the part made me cry was the last act at the Bedlam, when Tom (Leo Goeke) became a madman.  He fantasized that he was the Greek god of beauty and desire Adonis and his old time lover Anne (Felicity Lott) who he abandoned was Venus. Anne visited Tom at the Bedlam and left when he fell into sleep.  When Tom woke up, he couldn’t find “Venus” – this part of singing (both Anne’s and Tom’s) are heart-broken (sorry can’t find it online).  Tom is a weak character but who is also ideal and naive in some sense like a big boy, who sold his soul to Shadow (can represent the dark or Dionysian side of our self).  The bass-toned Shadow (Samuel Ramey) is really cunning and charming who has the power to lure us to do ‘bad’ things.

I guess why extremely beautiful things make us sad is because like love, real beauty does not last – while we enjoy it we sense its ending.  True love involves loving the other’s weakness as true love is not always rational.  But true love doesn’t guarantee  being together – it is more of a spiritual love that saves in heart but not everyday sharing that may last forever.  When Anne said “goodbye” to Tom when Tom was asleep, she whispered to Tom that he always has her love but it’s not her that he needs now.

These two operas are must-sees in life.  Of course, I also strongly recommend Salome.

New year challenge will still be how to balance between job and course/final thesis, and between art practices and other activities.

0. To live on beans, vegetables and fruits as much as possible.

1. Go to sleep by 11 pm.

2. Commit to the Qigong/Taichi classes (may miss some due to model drawings) – this is a spiritual practice.

(1) Try to set up a class for master Wang at the Quad gym;

(2) Set another class up at Umass/Boston Confucius Institute

(3) Arrange with composers/musicians to make the performances on stage: Qigong/Wensheng with music performance – and ideally into a video project    (stage and lighting).

3. work: stay focused and be efficient.  Apply for Harvard China Fund and collaboration with China.

4. Visual Art Degree: final seminar in the spring – deciding on thesis topic.  Stay steady.

5. Art Practice:  spring: modeling drawing sessions and a contemporary drawing practice class.

6. Exercise: swimming and walking.

7. Social and friends: Will bring composer/musician friends together with visual artist friends, creative scientist friends, Master Wang (Taoism philosophy) together.  Invite for presentations and conversations.

《咏茶》

〖宋〗苏轼

武夷溪边粟粒芽，前丁后蔡相宠加。

争新买宠各出意，今年斗品充贡茶。

吾君所乏岂此物，致养口体何陋耶？

洛阳相君忠孝家，可怜亦进姚黄花。

浣溪沙·徐门石潭谢雨道上作》

〖宋〗苏轼

簌簌衣巾落枣花，村南村北响缫车，牛衣古柳卖黄瓜。

酒困路长惟欲睡，日高人渴漫思茶，敲门试问野人家。

《摊破浣溪沙·莫分茶》

〖宋〗李清照

病起萧萧两鬓华，卧看残月上窗纱。

豆蔻连梢煎熟水，莫分茶。

枕上诗书闲处好，门前风景雨来佳，终日向人多酝藉，木犀花。

《鹧鸪天·寒日萧萧上锁窗》

〖宋〗李清照

寒日萧萧上锁窗，梧桐应恨夜来霜。

酒阑更喜团茶苦，梦断偏宜瑞脑香。

秋已尽，日犹长，仲宣怀远更凄凉。

不如随分尊前醉，莫负东篱菊蕊黄。

《临安春雨初霁》

〖宋〗陆游

世味年来薄似纱，谁令骑马客京华。

小楼一夜听春雨，深巷明朝卖杏花。

矮纸斜行闲作草，晴窗细乳戏分茶。

素衣莫起风尘叹，犹及清明可到家。

邓丽君：再见我的爱人  Goodbye my Love